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  •  讀書369 >> 名著茶館 >> 美文閱讀>>正文
    當個普通人很丟臉嗎?

      1

      “如果我是她該多好啊。”

      和小周閑聊數次。不止一次,她提及了身邊閨蜜,言語里盡是羨嫉。

      “她從小比我優秀。我越在意她,就越想遠離她。”

      “旁人眼里,她是人生贏家,而我是無用的loser。”

      憋屈如小周。多年來,為了趕上閨蜜的步速,她跑跑跑,追追追。

      做自己不感興趣的事情,去不甚向往的地方,談不咸不淡的戀愛。賠上太多焦慮和悶悶不樂的時光。

      明明是個濃眉大眼的俏姑娘,她卻忍不住紋美瞳線注水光針,二十多歲高齡戴牙套,疼得齜牙咧嘴只為四個字,我不想輸。

      本以為。變美之后,能在顏值上扳回一局。誰知年歲漸長,閨蜜越發開了掛。獎學金論文拿到手軟,專業綜合雙料第一。

      “憑什么生活對我那么苛刻,對她卻那么仁慈?”

      “如果拼盡全力還是不如她,那我還努力干嘛?”

      隔著屏幕,我似乎能看見小周垂著眼,撇著嘴,一臉喪氣的模樣。

      想抱抱她,卻怎么也伸不出手。

      2

      “人生贏家”,這詞兒有毒。本來我挺想問小周,這種近乎執拗的攀比,是你自己渴望的生活?還是環境或身邊人強加的標準?

      但我沒資格問。某種程度上,我倆一般無二:考研要985,求職要北上廣,身材要白瘦美,男友愛我要比我愛他多。

      出身,家境,學歷,婚姻,財富……當每一個鮮活的個體,被切割成具象的指標,談戀愛、找工作、交朋友,便成了勢強者勝的博弈。

      所以時不時,就會聽聞這類句子:

      “你連那種人都不如,還能有什么出息?”“三十歲不談戀愛,活該孤獨終老!”

      于是乎,很多人怕了亂了煩了。開始忙著出名趁早,忙著趕場相親,忙著復制高大上的標簽人生,卻不幸偏離迷失在自己的航道。

      然而就像小周問的,我都那么努力了,為什么一點都不快樂?

      其實答案很簡單。你所謂的 “努力”——不是為了上進,而是為了較勁。

      當你的著眼點,落在自己痛、弱、苦等缺陷的一面;當你的價值感,對賭般押在和別人的攀比中,這,注定是一場誘人卻必輸的敗局。

      3

      想起六月初,我和朋友去看《重返狼群》。

      片子甚好。但最最讓我動容的,是故事的男女主角,亦風和微漪。

      收養小狼之前,亦風是攝影師,微漪是畫家,算是妥妥的人生贏家,模范情侶。

      可為了送格林回狼群,他倆變賣家產,背井離鄉。一年又一年,如牧民般留守在了草原。

      電影放畢,前排的小情侶嘰喳起來:

      “他倆放著好好日子不過,去西藏折騰,值得嗎?”

      “這種人腦子有坑。你說正常人會把狼當孩子養?”

      我和朋友聽罷,互看了一眼,似是苦笑。

      不知何時起,背離主流,成了一件“丟臉事”。放棄出人頭地,成了一筆 “虧本買賣”。

      只是,這個世界是那么龐大冗雜,不是所有人都非有醇酒要喝,駿馬要騎,高官要做。

      安于平淡又怎么了?當個普通人很丟臉嗎?只要你不是兩手一攤不作為,得過且過混吃喝,誰又有資格去苛責、去評價?

      于微漪而言,所謂的人生贏家,不過是盡力做一個忠于自我的人。她按照內心軌跡運行,隨境而起,隨境而棄,身上有著閃亮的星芒。

      4

      我從不否認,無論二十歲,三十歲,四十歲,每個人都在覓求刺激和儀式感,都擁有疲憊生活的英雄夢想。偶爾浮躁、焦灼和虛榮,都挺正常。

      可有沒有想過,每天焦頭爛額,有多少事情是你真正想要、喜歡或者應該做的?你對自己嫌這嫌那,有多少真有必要改變和提升,有多少僅僅因為別人比你更好?

      更多時候,我們的癥結壓根不在嫉妒、攀比和貪婪,而在于我們虛偽——既不承認自身的局限,也不忠于真實的本我。

      “我什么時候,能做自己就好了。”

      這樣的人,要么屏蔽自己的內心訴求,要么缺乏體驗和嘗試。其實每時每刻,你都有能力做你自己。

      你可以混圈子搞創業玩融資,二十出頭嫁入豪門,少女感爆棚宛如公主;

      也可以掙不多不少的工資,擁有一個不壞不好、煩惱和溫情一樣多的家。

      但別忘了:“假設有一個游戲,無論怎么玩都贏不了。這時,也許該停下來,觀察這個游戲,檢視它的規則,而不是盲目地繼續。”

      路徑那么多,活出樣本的不落俗套才有趣味啊。

      去他的人生贏家!我,只想快點回家。

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